Whenever I catch someone staring at my Asian self and my white partner in public, the switch gets flipped. We all seem to be huddled underneath the same umbrella. Either I have an exclusive taste for white men or my partner has an Asian fetish. I started to ask myself where people got these ideas from, especially because most of the people asking were my family and Asian friends. Was I trying to prove something by dating a white person? Like I really had properly assimilated to the white Australian culture from my childhood? Believe it or not, these were conversations I actually had with friends and it hurt. I was terribly uncomfortable by this idea that my partner and I had to have an ulterior motive to be dating one another and for a time, it really did get to me.
You hate Asian men, they insist; you hate your own child. You hate yourself. I save these messages in a folder on my computer to document the abuse.
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Kat Chow. Elise Hu. A recent study on data from a dating app found all women except black women were most drawn to white men, and men of all races with one notable exception prefer Asian women.
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Are you a black woman attracted to White men, but despite how much they may stare from afar or act friendly, you never get asked out on a date?
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When I was in my second year of university, a stranger approached a friend and me on the streets of Melbourne, asking to photograph us for his website about interracial couples. A little taken aback, we told him we weren’t together but had friends that might fit the bill. He went on to explain that many of his friends were Asian men who thought Anglo-Australian women just weren’t interested in dating them.
His website was his way of showing this wasn’t true. After a fittingly awkward goodbye, I never saw that man or, concerningly, his website again, but the unusual encounter stayed with me. It was the first time someone had given voice to an insecurity I held but had never felt comfortable communicating.
I’m An Asian Woman And I Refuse To Be Fetishized
One user on Reddit posted a photo of the sign with the single-word rejoinder, “Kinda,” and the sixty-something comments that followed teased apart the the moral subtleties of dating within or outside of one’s own ethnicity or race. Reading through the thread feels like opening a Pandora’s Box, the air suddenly alive with questions that are impossible to meaningfully answer.
Earlier this year, I went on a date with a man who told me he had a thing for Asian women. We were sitting across from each other at a table in a fancy restaurant and he stood up to do a head-to-toe scan of me. I am sick of being fetishised because of racist stereotypes about “small and compliant” Asian women. Credit: Stocksy. I told myself to run. Here was yet another man with what is not-so-jokingly referred to as Yellow Fever: the lazy and discriminatory hyper-sexualisation and fetishisation of Asian women, primarily by white men, solely based on race.
When I tried to break it off with him, he texted: “I hate you. Thankfully, there are thousands of gorgeous Japanese, Chinese and Korean girls in Sydney, so I will be okay.
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Clip What about Interracial Marriage? Watch Seeking Asian Female – premiering May 6 at 10pm check local listings. Clip What is Yellow Fever? Bridging past and present, The First Rainbow Coalition examines how an unlikely coalition defied racial divisions. In , more than Chicagoans died in a single week. Why have you never heard of this disaster?
The challenges of dating as an Asian-Australian man
The apocalyptic internet movement QAnon is gaining followers by the thousands, and churches are slow to respond. Several women complain of aggressive sexual behavior from young North Carolina congressional candidate. Journals Sophia’s World. These stereotypes absolutely exist, and they are harmful.
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Subscriber Account active since. Abe Kim downloaded TikTok one month ago, but his content has already racked up over 2 million likes and his account has accrued nearly , followers. The model and college junior recently achieved viral fame for a video he posted addressing an issue he faces in his dating life in California. In the tongue-in-cheek video, the college student lies on a bed, spotting Totoro-themed objects around an unfamiliar room “My Neighbor Totoro” is a Japanese animated fantasy movie with an enthusiastic and dedicated fandom.
The TikTok video immediately received thousands of comments — from people who could relate to the experience of fetishization, defined as making someone the subject of a sexual obsession, to those defending their love of “Totoro. Kim told Insider that reading the comments on the video sparked had been an “interesting experience,” and despite some of the critical comments, he stands by the point he was making in the video. Link in bio. Kim says that he’d tried to have conversations with his friends about his experiences with racism in dating — from feeling objectified to being outright rejected because of his race.
When he brought up his frustrations, his white and white-passing friends would often minimize his concerns. While he describes the TikTok video as “all in good fun,” Kim says he posted the clip with the intention of advancing the conversation in a more effective way. The viral video isn’t the first TikTok Kim has harnessed the power of TikTok — and humor — to call out racism.